Below transcript based on this video.
Can you choose not to be angry? If somebody is really bugging you, can they make you mad? Or do you have a choice? Let’s talk about what Jesus said regarding anger—but first, I want to share an experience I had when I wanted to be angry. It happened during my freshman year of college. In order to understand the background for this story you have to know that growing up I was always afraid of bullies. I wanted to learn karate so I could defend myself, but my mom wouldn’t let me because she was worried I’d beat up my younger siblings. So as soon as I got to college can you guess what the first class I signed up for was? It was Karate.
Can you guess what the first club I joined was? It was the Tae Kwan Do club. Altogether I was spending 8 hours a week learning how to fight. I loved it—One of my instructors was a street fighter from LA and he was tough. He taught us this knee kick where if you did it right, you could disable a guy for life—I thought it was awesome.
So by the end of the year I was feeling pretty tough. I had this little daydream that I would be walking around campus and hear somebody say, “Help! Help!” And I could go to the rescue. Well that opportunity sort of came.
I was at a dance and talking with some girls. These guys I had never met came up and they started talking to us. The girls left and these guys started saying rude things about the girls.
I started getting mad. I said, “What’s your problem?”
Then the other guys said more bad things. I said, “Those girls are my friends. Why don’t you guys just get out of here if that’s your attitude?”
One of the guys asked, “You want to take this outside?”
“YEAH!” I answered. I was ready. I was excited. But just as I was taking the first step outside, I thought, “What would Jesus do?”
Bad time to have a thought like that.
But it was too late. I had the question planted in my mind. What would the Savior do? I knew that had said, “he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil” (3 Nephi 11:29).
“But I’ve already taken the first step outside!” I thought to myself. “How am I going to get out of this situation if I don’t fight?
Just then—and I am not making this up—this tall guy started walking towards us. I had never seen him before. He was wearing a black leather jacket with spikes running up and down it. He and came up and said to the other guys, “Are you messing with my friend?” They said no, and I was like, “Oh yeah!”
The tall guy said, “Because I’ve fought in bars and I’ll smash all your heads together!”
The guys said, “We’re just leaving,” and I said, “Get out of here.”
The tall guy and I talked for a minute and then he left, and I’ve never seen him since. Maybe he’s one of the three Nephites. Just kidding.
But that whole experience taught me a valuable lesson. The point is—I wanted to be mad, I felt justified in being angry, but I still chose not to be angry. We can make that choice and not get mad—even in circumstances when we feel justified in doing so.
In his sermon at the temple Jesus taught, “Ye have heard that it hath been said by them of old time, and it is also written before you, that thou shalt not kill, and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment of God; But I say unto you, that whosoever is angry with his brother shall be in danger of his judgment. And whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca [that would be like calling somebody stupid or an idiot], shall be in danger of the council; and whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire” (3 Nephi 12:21–22)
I don’t angry about situations at dances anymore, but now I have a whole different set of temptations for getting angry, and you probably do as well.
How do we react when a child speaks rudely to us?
How do we react when somebody cuts us off in traffic?
How do we react when somebody disappoints us?
President Thomas S. Monson taught, “To be angry is to yield to the influence of Satan. No one can make us angry. It is our choice. If we desire to have a proper spirit with us at all times, we must choose to refrain from becoming angry. I testify that such is possible” (Ensign, November 2009).
It’s not easy, but we can choose not to be angry. Let’s remember the words of Jesus Christ: “Whosoever is angry with his brother shall be in danger of his judgment” and “He that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil” (3 Nephi 11:29).
As Elder Lynn G. Robbins taught, “We can choose not to become angry. And we can make that choice today, right now: “I will never become angry again.” Ponder this resolution” (Ensign, May 1998).
